Christmas Holidays: Celebrations, Travel and Parenting

So many children are looking forward to Christmas this year without masks and lockdowns.

Even though there will be queues at airports and congested traffic, people just want the chance to relax and really celebrate after the restrictions that Covid-19 had caused.

Parenting Orders

Covid-19 put a lot of strain on parents and families.

Even with Court Orders in place, household lockdowns and sick relatives may have rendered the Orders unmanageable and make-up times unworkable.

When trying to co-parent, holidays, deciding how to fit in visits to grandparents and manage blended families can put extra strains and stresses on families.

Anticipating and Planning

If you have Parenting Orders or a Parenting Plan already in place, this can be a guide to working out your holiday timetable.

Talk to your children and ask for a list of things that they would like to do. Get them all to agree on the most popular choice. Always leave some room to manoeuvre in case the weather causes problems or an elderly relative is sick.

Planning early can help to reduce the stress.

With a schedule of activities, you can really maximise the time the children will spend with you, especially if they do not normally live with you. Block time can help build your relationship with the children and in blended families for the children to get to know each other.

If there has been a lot of conflict in the past, the Orders may have arrangements for changeover. Again, this can help reduce the stress as the children become used to the locations. If the children are happy, parents can move on and have amicable exchanges without trying to manage emotional children.

Your Time

Remember that with an organised timetable, you can also put some time in the diary for yourself. You can read a book, go for a massage or have coffee with friends without worrying about anyone but yourself.

When the children are spending time with your ex-partner, that time can be your time.

What if you do not have PARENTING ORDERS?

Conflict does not solve conflict. Communication can go a long way to smoothing things over as you move to co-parenting after separation.

If you have had difficulties communicating in the past, a useful tool is Our Family Wizard App. You can send texts to each other about parenting arrangements without having to directly speak to each other removing the emotion from the communications.

If you really cannot manage to work out a common plan for the children, it may be wise to consider a Parenting Plan.

Parenting Plan

Parents will meet with a Mediator and/or lawyers to work out a manageable way for the children to spend time with each parent. Having an independent third party to talk to and to analyse the situation assists parents in working out what is best for the children.

Parents can inform the Mediator of the work schedules, family obligations, religious holidays, travel plans and children’s extra-curricular activities.

Rather than be ordered what to do, parents can collaborate, voice their opinion and work together to finalise an agreement that is manageable for all parties.

Parenting Orders

Most parents do not need to go to Court and can plan around each other’s lives to help their children settle into the new family set-up.

However, where the separation has been bitter and conflict remains, and Mediation fails, the next step will be to seek the assistance of the Court to make Orders that will benefit both the parents but more importantly the children.

The Court and the parents will have the assistance of lawyers and the Independent Children’s Lawyer to finalise an agreement that will enable the children to spend time and communicate with the parents in a safe and secure environment.

Subject of Orders

Orders can include communication methods, changeover location, birthday and holiday arrangements, who the children live with and how much time the children will spend with the non-resident parent.

Travel arrangements and restrictions on travel to countries that are signatories of the Hague Convention will all give peace of mind to parents so that they can move on and enjoy the time they spend with their children without having to consider what may or may not happen.

A Court Order is legally enforceable and each parent is legally bound to follow the Orders or be in breach which can have serious consequences.

The Long School Holidays

This is the time when the non-resident parent can really enjoy getting to know their children without the constant interruptions of changeovers and school activities.

If the parent can plan ahead, grandparents can help out when work schedules get in the way and the children can try new experiences out of their usual routine.

The parent can also schedule a break from work to spend time together doing special activities that would not be possible during term.

As long as parents can agree, children can enjoy travelling away or just playing in the back yard introducing the non-resident parent to their friends and build memories together.

What if a parent keeps the children after Christmas?

Situations arise where a parent may be so conflicted about the separation that they withhold the children after the holidays, enrol them in a new school or move to another area.

If Court Orders are in place, then you may have to make an Urgent Application for Recovery Order.

If possible it is much better to try to communicate and learn all the circumstances. Planes may be delayed, a child may be sick or a grandparent may have been rushed to hospital.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you are having difficulties working out the time your children will spend during the holidays.

Best Interests of the Children

The Courts will always look at the situation from the perspective of what is best for the children’s welfare.

If it is possible to avoid Court and communicate, it will help to defuse the situation and work out an amicable solution.

Children love both parents and do not want to see them arguing.

If parents can be child-focused and think of how their actions appear to the children, instead of escalating conflict, a manageable resolution can be sorted that works for everyone.

The Children will thank you for it.

CHRISTMAS IS A TIME TO BE ENJOYED.

Please be advised our office will be closed from 5:00pm on 16 December 2022 and reopens at 8:30am on 9 January 2023

This article is for information only and does not constitute legal advice.